Hello everyone!!!!

I just thought I'd do a quick post and update you guys on a few things. Well first off, MY HUBBY IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! finally..wheeew i'm so glad that shit is behind us for little while. Everything is better than ever and Lilliana is doing great too. She is so smart it's unreal. She's wild like her daddy which I love :) umm...I lost weight. I weigh 132. Not much from last time but good enough for me. I watched the BET awards tonight and it was amazing. RIP MJ! My heart goes out to his family, I couldn't imagine loosing someone I love so much. I went to Arkansas and had so much fun with family and friends. Got my drank on with the hubs, which was like the first time in a little over a year!! but it really was worth it. My consultation for my boobies was moved to July 17th and i'm super excited about that! Umm i guess thats it. I wish I had the patients to write about everything but I just can't lol. I'm a little adhd haha..no I seriously think I am. Anyway hope you ladies are doing well, love you guys!

So Monday I went to the dentist and they started on my other fillings and I kinda hate how bad I let my teeth get. It's embarassing and it's all my fault. If only I didn't have that dumb eating disorder my teeth would be perfect. GRRR! Anyways today I decided to blog because I'm in the need to vent..kinda.

Tonight hasn't went very well. Lilliana won't stop crying and I have a huge headache. I feed her, change her, play with her, hold her, sing to her, give her juice, give her a bath and nothing will make her feel better. She only stops crying when she's in my arms and I'm walking around. These are the times when I wish Josh were here to make things all better. If he were here he'd tell me to go lay down, he'd bring me some medicine. On top of all that i've gained 5 lbs in one week!!!! UH that really puts a damper on my night..as gay as that sounds..lol I'm either about to start my period or I gained all that weight for no reason. Which i'm not suppose to start till the 15th. Sooo yeah i'm a fattie.

On a better note. Josh's best friend is getting stationed here at Dyess and he has the same job as Josh. I'm really happy because I really like Joe. He's a good friend for Joshua.

I paid the dentist off  $335 that kinda hurt, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I hate not having extra money to spend on whatever I want. This week I definitely have to save. BOO!

Hey beauties!!! Wow it's been so long since i've updated. I kinda just stopped there for a while because Josh just deployed and I didn't feel like getting all sad and writing nothing but sobby blogs. When I write I tend to write about my feelings and I just didn't want to go there.

So much has happend, but first off I would like to say that so far, this deployement has been cake. Yah I miss him but i've gotten the hang of being an independent woman again! It's so liberating, I kinda like it!!! This is not as bad as I thought, granted it's only been what? a month or something. I take Lilliana to daycare on days I have to. I go shopping  A LOT but mostly for the house. It's starting to look soo good :) It needed some work soo bad and I finally have the chance to hook it up. I put together some bar stools, and a wall console and I put up all the window treatments with the help of my sweet heart of a friend, Jess! love her!!!

LOL okay so this is going to be some TMI for you so if you want stop reading here. No fa real it's really TMI so there's your warning.

Okay so you all know it gets really really lonely when your other half is across the world. WEEEELLL me and some of my girlfriends were talking and we were discussing sex and all the fun things you do with your partner. Well I let them in on my little secret. I told them i've never had the big O. They were soo surprised lol. Josh and I have an amazing sex life and we have sex more than 3 times a week, usually, but i've just never been able to have one. I think i've came close, but noto close enough. So one of my friends suggested that I buy a vibrator. I told Josh and at first he opposed but then he had a change of heart and told me to let him know when I used it. HAHA. He wants me to send him pictures of me all busted open too! OMG haha! I blushed when he asked me to. Anyways I'm not one to masturbate because i've always had someone there to please me BUT if this will garuntee that I reach my full potential then so be it. Off to the sex shop I go!! haha. plus everyone says it's probably because I don't masturbate that I don't know my own body which could be the reason why I've never had one. Who knows?! We'll see though

WEll hope everyone is doing well, I'll try to read some blogs!